Friday was Trigg's birthday. He is 4. I actually had a little party for him. This is his new thing. He does something wrong, says he's sorry and says, "do you forgive me?" I don't know where he picked it up and of course I always say yes but sometimes it's harder than others.
I was washing the car with Trigg and his BFF, Addie and they were messing up my clean windows. The fastest way to have two almost-4-year-olds melt down? Tell them in your outdoor voice to "stop messing up my windows!" Then tell them you don't forgive them. It was a miss-communication, I promise!Stop. Do NOT yell "stop crying!" Silently thank Rebecca for letting me keep her kids for two weeks, remember the talk in General Conference about how mothers are inherently nurturing. I tell them in my indoor, motherly nurturing voice (yes, I have one), its okay, I forgive them.
Today I was teaching him how to swim. As he is clamped around my neck in a death grip I tell him that I love him and I would never let him get hurt. He said, " that's why you always forgive me but not Addie when she messes up your windows?"
It was a miss-communication!
Four years with Trigg as my last, unplanned, surprise, caboose in our crazy family and yes, I finally forgive him. Some day, when he is much older, I will ask him to forgive me, for not being quite ready for 5 kids and selfishly thinking 4 would be much easier, and for sometimes thinking it still, well okay, a lot of the time.
He is our Triggalicious, Triggster, Triggsaster, Triggnacious, Triggers, Trigganator and whatever else we can tack on to his name. He is a bright, funny, surprising, wonderful boy (even if he looks like he should be in special ed., not that there's anything wrong with that!)
I love his hugs, his kisses, the way he sings primary songs, the way he loves to play with his cousins, the way he chooses me over Dave, even when I want him to choose Dave, how he loves his "favorite tag," I love watching the older kids with him, the way they protect him. I hate that he is 4, I want my baby back. 
I wish I could rewind and do those 4 years over again starting with my cute tiny baby and enjoy those years all that much more knowing that I would never have them back. He is my special little buddy and I love him with all my heart. I am trying to enjoy him even more right now to make up for it. Sometimes it's harder than others...I know that he was always supposed to be part of our family, it just took 4 years for me to realize it. I am a little slow.
*most of these fab photos are courtesy of Amy Kroff Photography. Check her out!
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