Saturday, April 25, 2009


Trigg is my surprise.

You think your done having kids and then one day, surprise. By that I mean that the single last lonely sperm left in Dave, fought his way through latex, into my fallopian tube and ripped out an egg that wasn't supposed to be out yet, and attached itself to my uteran wall. Sorry if that was too graphic for you but seriously! Not only that, but it had to be a boy sperm. Boys 4. Girls 1. Way to go Mr. Mantastic.

I was okay with this.

And I loved this.

Not so much this.

or this.

Trigg, or Trigg-saster or Trigg-zillla, is mean.

Not so much mean-spirited, I don't think but still mean. He hits, he scratches, he pinches, and yes, he has been known to bite on occasion. Sometimes, unprovoked.

He has been written up at the gym SIX times. He has been grounded from the gym for weeks and months at a time. Most of the time his cousin Dax has been the victim but still, SIX times.

He tackles Jarem and pulls his hair for no reason. My gramma can't watch Trigg and Addie at the same time for fear of Addie's life.

He adds so much more stress to my life.

Sometimes I look
at him and think, why?

Just why?

But once in a while, usually when we are alone, I look at his brown/green eyes that are exactly the same color as my dads (not attractive, but familiar), and I know why I love him.

I still don't know why I had him, but I know why I love him.

Most days, I want to tie him up in a chair, or just tie his hands together (which I have tried).

Maybe, one da
y, I will know why I had him. But at least sometimes, I know why I love him.

I dream about his graduation, from medical school, and a letter I will get in 17 years from just one person that has learned about the gospel, or has had a better day because of Elder Dunyon.

I dream about a temple marriage to a sweet little girl, that lets me take her babies, and of a perfect fatherhood to at least 3 children.

Then I will k
now why I had him.

Or maybe Addie just learns some mad self defense skills and it saves her life one day.

Or that. Something, please?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Plain White T's

How do I get my whites, WHITE.

Obsessed with laundry? Pretty much.

I put my whites in hot water, with a scoop of Oxy Clean and some bleach.

Dingy, faded whites.

What is the secret?

I HATE dingy, white T-shirts.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Give a little, get a little...

The week I spent with Cassie, I took Lexi on a walk after conference to get her out of the condo and to give Cassie and Brandon some peace for a while. There was a little brook by the side of the condos and we decided it would be fun to throw some rocks.

Big rocks....

Little rocks.....

Big splash.....

Little splash....until Lexi was so cold she was turning purple.

While I sat with her,
picking up the rocks and wiping off the dirt, I was thinking how fun it was and how I probably hadn't spent this much one on one, quality time with Trigg since he was born. I started to feel really guilty that I had left my whole family to have Cassie's family all to myself.

Spring Break week I packed up my whole family, minus poor Dave who had to work, and went to Orange County to st
ay with his family.

The beach was calling me.

One day, we all went to the beach on a cold day just to walk and feed the birds and watch the waves.

All of a sudden I found myself crou
ched down, with the little Trigger.

We got to throw rocks.

Just him and me.... kind of.

Big rocks...

Little rocks..

Big wave....

Little wave....

Sometimes, we just get lucky!